Kathmandu- Last week at the Nepal International Film Festival (NIF), a discussion was held on the topic of ‘Mother Heroine: Responsibilities and Career’. Actress Priyanka Karki, dance director Rensha Rai and former Miss Nepal Malvika Subba participated in the session. All three celebrities shared their experiences after becoming mothers.
Especially, Malvika openly talked about her mental health after becoming a mother. Stating that she is raising her son as a ‘single mother’, Malvika mentioned that being a single parent is challenging. In the dialogue, Malvika has also revealed that she thought of suicide when she was going through a bad situation in her life.
Malvika’s words in that session of NIF:
We are in a similar job where we have to read the script and memorise the script. The mind should be very sharp. She had to work harder than other contemporaries. To remember the lines and the script, to arrive on time, to deliver everything, to look at the baby, to look good, then to go ahead and speak with pleasure, even for other times when I was single and did not have a child, I had to work twice as hard as in that situation.
Post part of depression did not consult a doctor. I didn’t know that for memory loss. When my son was 6 months old. This is a very sensitive topic. I want to give a disclaimer in advance. I wanted to commit suicide, I was going through a very bad situation.
It must have been 11 o’clock in the night, when I had suicidal feelings, I felt that I should call someone. My best friend was Neelu, who has passed away. I called her and said that such feelings are coming, very negative feelings, then she probably reminded me for an hour at that time. What she reminded me of is that your son needs you. I finally calmed down after being told that your role is very important. Then I slept.
The next day I decided to change the narrative of my life. Then I took control of life. Then I went to therapy, left home. I am such a workaholic person, I was afraid to leave the house for four months. I would not leave the child for even two minutes. Even if someone held my baby for two minutes, I would get angry, very overprotective like a tiger. I was like that. I was in a very bad phase.
Even remembering that experience now is painful. Then I started going to therapy. Then what is mental health? From there I realized why it is important to go to therapy. From there, I started giving mental health a lot of importance. At what time I went to work, I could not see my child. I did not want to spend time with my child.
Finally, when I got better, my child would not come with me, he would go to midnight, he wouldn’t come where I was, I was very upset. When asked who he loves the most, he used to say papa, maa, baa, and mother was the fourth. I had to suffer this for a few years. After that I started spending time with him, walking around, making physical, mental and informative activities that I should take the narrative of my life by myself. That will be challenging.
No matter how much we sit here and say ‘working mom you have to do this’, not everyone’s story and commentary is the same. Even as a single parent, single mom, my son is growing up at home. It is also challenging to raise a child.