Yes, he has a room in a big house on the main road. The room has an enmity with the sun, and the sun never even looked at the window. However, he prefers a cold, dark day with light rain to a sunny sunny day. He is in love with the dark in an unknown way. And she prefers to sit with curtains on the windows and doors during the day.
The room is clean and tidy. A double bed that can comfortably sleep two people, there is a small drawer next to it. On top of the drawer is another bag of clothes, next to the drawer is a plastic bucket with clothes to wash. At a glance, it can be guessed that she is very good at clothes. There is a six thirty two inch old TV on a wooden table next to the bucket. Where Nepalis listen to YouTube more than TV channels. Hindi and English songs.
Near the door is a large mirror, where he stands, as if he were looking at the reflection of life, not his own face. Blown-up hair after weeks of not being combed, a white and puffy face as if there was no blood on the face, dark sad eyes, black lips that were cold from the cold of the month. Many times her boyfriend did not tell her that light pink lips suit you very well. But in the name of makeup, no lipstick of any color ever reached her lips. Only lover’s lips and cigarettes have reached.
There is a book rack made of bamboo at the side of the room. There are fiction, poetry and religious books that have been read and are yet to be read. How many books are lying on the ground. In a frame hanging on the wall of the room, it is written, I call zero zero. (Lakshmi Prasad Devkota)
Even though the night was long, he could not sleep today. She gets up and lights a cigarette while listening to ‘Black Bud Singing in the Dead of Night’ by The Beats. Cigarettes and songs are finished at the same time. Why today both songs and cigarettes could not calm his restless mind. Instead, the night became darker and darker, as his mind also became darker. Every now and then he gets traumatized by some unpleasant incident that happened years ago. She tries to forget those things, she thinks that such unpleasant incidents should not happen to anyone again in her life, but every now and then news such as ‘six-month-old girl raped’, ’90-year-old woman raped by her own brother-in-law’, and ‘rape and murder of her daughter by her own father’ make headlines. I can’t even read or listen completely.
Such news makes him feel like salt is sprinkled on a wound that has already been healed. Just yesterday, her best friend came to visit her with tears in her eyes. He knew that his friend had taken a room with his uncle’s son to study, but where did he know? The fact that his own uncle’s son also does ‘sexual harassment’. The very word “this man” immediately arouses her hatred. All the men she knows are friends, relatives, fathers, uncles, uncles, lovers. Again, not all of them are the same, right? What kind of mentality do I have that all potatoes are bad after finding one rotten potato in the bag? He gets angry with himself.
How many days has it been since his mind was not well? How many sisters, friends, aunts, aunts, uncles, aunts and grandmothers that he knows have similar stories to him. How many were robbed in the name of love, how many were robbed out of compulsion, how many were robbed out of fear, and how many were robbed at an age when they did not know what was happening to them.
There are thousands of unspeakable stories of girls and women like her who could never come out beyond the confines of family, home and society. Sometimes the question arises in his mind, is it a fault to be born as a woman? Indian writer Dr. I remember the book ‘Yagyaseni’ written by Pratibha Rai. Where Draupadi got fed up and told Shri Krishna. O Lord, don’t make women so beautiful, even if you have to make them, don’t make men so sensual.’
Was it Draupadi’s fault that Aryavarta’s Shyama (here Shyama means beautiful woman) was born as the world’s most beautiful woman? You might think that the most beautiful and powerful woman in Aryavarta is Pratra Krishna. But he thinks Draupadi is the saddest female character in the world. You can imagine this in your life, when you enter someone’s house as a wife, you also have to become the wife of his brother. How is this moment? As if the sky is falling on him, as if the ground is falling. Don’t talk too much about Draupadi, she doesn’t like to talk much these days. I told you before, his mind is not right.
Even after the third watch of the night, she still could not sleep. How many sleepless nights have he lost with such news. It happens to many women like her who have finished many packs of cigarettes along with the sleepless night, where the injustice done to them is silently hidden in the box of their heart and never opened. While fighting for justice, on the contrary, they put many insults on themselves. This society shows many faults to women. How difficult is it when she walks around with so many insults and contempt that she can’t hear and say? When will they get justice? And those newly born young girls where they have to fear from their own home and family. When will the day come when they will be able to walk, walk and grow up confidently? When will there be an end to the situation where the parents have to call in fear as soon as the grown-up daughter is a little late to return home?
